French Fries and Krispy Kremes
So, I went to the Fat Meeting last night. The informational seminar for bariatric surgery. I remember being 19 and seeing those commercials and thinking "Wow, who would ever get that fat?". Hrmph.
It was a couple towns over, at the Rec Center. I was a little freaked out when I pulled in and the building was HUGE. I have this weird fear of people and if anyone would have said "can I help you?" to me inside there, I probably would have run screaming and sucked my thumb in my car for 3 hours. I was hoping there would be a trail of french fries to the right room, but no such luck. Maybe I didn't get there early enough for them to still be there.
There were however, no shortage of fellow fatties to lead the way! So, I found my way to the room without incident or confrontation, and with both thumbs dry.
The lecture was 2 hours long, so luckily I had my Blackberry with me, so I could ignore everything they said and talk to Sheri about what it would be funny to do. Such things as:
Annouce that I'm ordering pizza and ask what everyone wants
Pass out Krispy Kremes (hey, it's right down the road!)
Bring scooters so all the fatties can zoom around the room for fun.
That last one was Sheri's idea, and I chuckled outloud right there in front of everyone when she said it. I don't think anyone heard me, though, since the lady net to me kept falling asleep and snoring loudly. I wish I was kidding.
Anyway, they did their pitch about gastric bypass vs. lap band and really pushed the bypass harder. I don't know why other than I'd imagine they have a bigger profit margin on it since there's less follow-up care involved.
I just barely qualify for the surgery, as I am just at the "Fat enough" point. There was a lot of talk about insurance companies requiring a 6 month medically supervised diet first. Which is all fine and well, except, if I went on a 6 month diet, I wouldn't be fat enough at the other end to qualify for the surgery. Which would be good, except I've already lost the weight twice and gained it back (don't judge me!), so that would be a lesson in futility.
I wanted to ask them what would happen in that case, but I was afraid I'd get lynched or eaten, so I waited until everyone left. Basically, the answer was, to not lose enough weight for that to happen. Right. Sandbag the diet. Gotcha!
I'm mostly sure my insurance isn't going to cover this. In fact, I expect they'll send a Fuck You letter back. Or say, "Sure, but you have a $38,000 deductible for that type of procedure." If I want to pay for it out of pocket, it will be a mere $17,000. (I want the lap band - apparently you can't eat sugar ever again with the bypass? I'm not sure I can live with that. Or that my family could live with ME if I wasn't allowed a bite of ice cream now and then!) She said they have installment plans, but even still, $17k is a lot of money. So, I will have to think on it. I have no doubt I want to get the surgery. I'd prefer not to die, and that's the direction I'm headed. My blood pressure is getting higher and higher!
They're supposed to call me in a week to let me know what the insurance company says.
It was a couple towns over, at the Rec Center. I was a little freaked out when I pulled in and the building was HUGE. I have this weird fear of people and if anyone would have said "can I help you?" to me inside there, I probably would have run screaming and sucked my thumb in my car for 3 hours. I was hoping there would be a trail of french fries to the right room, but no such luck. Maybe I didn't get there early enough for them to still be there.
There were however, no shortage of fellow fatties to lead the way! So, I found my way to the room without incident or confrontation, and with both thumbs dry.
The lecture was 2 hours long, so luckily I had my Blackberry with me, so I could ignore everything they said and talk to Sheri about what it would be funny to do. Such things as:
That last one was Sheri's idea, and I chuckled outloud right there in front of everyone when she said it. I don't think anyone heard me, though, since the lady net to me kept falling asleep and snoring loudly. I wish I was kidding.
Anyway, they did their pitch about gastric bypass vs. lap band and really pushed the bypass harder. I don't know why other than I'd imagine they have a bigger profit margin on it since there's less follow-up care involved.
I just barely qualify for the surgery, as I am just at the "Fat enough" point. There was a lot of talk about insurance companies requiring a 6 month medically supervised diet first. Which is all fine and well, except, if I went on a 6 month diet, I wouldn't be fat enough at the other end to qualify for the surgery. Which would be good, except I've already lost the weight twice and gained it back (don't judge me!), so that would be a lesson in futility.
I wanted to ask them what would happen in that case, but I was afraid I'd get lynched or eaten, so I waited until everyone left. Basically, the answer was, to not lose enough weight for that to happen. Right. Sandbag the diet. Gotcha!
I'm mostly sure my insurance isn't going to cover this. In fact, I expect they'll send a Fuck You letter back. Or say, "Sure, but you have a $38,000 deductible for that type of procedure." If I want to pay for it out of pocket, it will be a mere $17,000. (I want the lap band - apparently you can't eat sugar ever again with the bypass? I'm not sure I can live with that. Or that my family could live with ME if I wasn't allowed a bite of ice cream now and then!) She said they have installment plans, but even still, $17k is a lot of money. So, I will have to think on it. I have no doubt I want to get the surgery. I'd prefer not to die, and that's the direction I'm headed. My blood pressure is getting higher and higher!
They're supposed to call me in a week to let me know what the insurance company says.
posted by Angie at 1:58 PM
3 comments
